Tuesday, June 30, 2009

An Education-Free World at Last...

Jack Hough wrote a cathartic, if ill-researched piece on the end of the Education Bubble in America entitled "Don't Get that College Degree!" While the comments page rips Hough a new one for his bad math and worse assumptions about the earning potential of high-school vs. college-educated individuals, the article nonetheless gropes blindly towards the ultimate point that educators are waiting on pins and needles to reach... the Education Bust.

As Hough points out, there's something rotten in Denmark. Most easily recognizable is the treacherous "adjunct faculty position." Instead of long-term tenure-track stability dependent on successful scholarly publishing, promising young scholars are herded into ballooning class sizes, monotonous "required" courses that teach no skills and "entry level" courses that convey no new knowledge and often don't strain the student beyond a high school education level. Students are cheated out of an education that can expand their skill and knowledge base, while McProfs are last-hired, first-fired mercenary teachers living a shell of an existence teaching whatever will keep them from being sacked--not the best environment for new investigative research.

This race-to-mediocrity extends all the way through the university system: Greg Winter points out in his article "Jacuzzi U" that universities are spending billions of taxpayer dollars specifically NOT on education, but on resources like hot tubs, climbing walls, and endless resort-style amenities that turn college life into a theme park. This is not merely because college administrators are reptilian space-aliens bent on enslaving humankind (that's for another article), but because the business model of the university system has approximated the housing business model pre-2008: the bigger, the better. More stuff supposedly equals more students, which brings in more money, which allows for more stuff, which brings in more students... et cetera, ad nauseam. So where does it end?

From tiny private colleges like Reed to massive universities like Stanford, colleges are increasingly unable to support the students that they have, admit new students who are strapped for cash, and justify the cost-benefit of their supposed skills-training. Meanwhile, online "universities" like the University of Phoenix have become degree-factories admitting anyone regardless of ability (both in teaching and student positions) and graduating almost no one, boasting some of the lowest graduation scores in the country. The blood is most definitely in the water, and the sharks are looming.

Yet all this hassle and pain has been and most likely will continue to be blamed on students (who are just trying to get ahead) and administrators (who just want to make a quick buck), while the real culprits continue to "inspire" us to fritter away any savings we or our parents have gathered together as a bulwark against any unforeseen disasters or debts we might incur. The real culprits are quite simply our teachers, our professors, our parents, and our government officials, all of whom insist that a college education is absolutely essential to success in our lives.

Was this true of our grandfathers' or fathers' generation? Most students I've met as a teacher are first-generation collegiates, so obviously not. In fact, many students from my own former university were double-dipping, spending their Hope scholarship and Daddy's money together, living in palatial apartment complexes and shopping at Wal-Mart, eating Ramen noodles and driving around town in Escalades. "Slumming," it was called, as if it were a fashion trend and not an insult to people who can't afford any better.

In fact, I'd wager that just within my own family, mine will probably be the poorest generation thus far. My grandfathers on both sides were barely high-school educated, but all died wealthy enough to leave substantial inheritances that have afforded me and mine a comfortable life with or without steady work. My parents both attended college, but neither became successful from their degrees; both achieved success not by studying about it but by earning it through daily work and autodidacticism (a GRE word that's both useful and unnecessary--a twofer!). Thanks to their investments and achievements, my brother and I have been able to make it into our early thirties, both college educated single men, and yet neither of us own a business. I have a semi-marketable skill (teaching), but my brother's long-sought degree in political science is about as useful in today's job market as the napkins he knows how to fold expertly. In fact, my brother's finally seeing sense--working towards restaurant management, he might end up carrying my dead academic weight later on in life.

Thus, not having had to obtain a job, I've been essentially paying for the privilege of sitting in drafty rooms and reading long hours--things I could have done for free, on my own time. I like to imagine that I've been interning with successful companies in the hopes of becoming a long-term employee (tenured professor), but that's a fantasy. The reality at many universities is that every year after the mid-nineties tenure-track positions have decreased, even though faculty (including graduate students) hires have been increasing. It's quite devilish, actually--the universities are simply waiting for old tenured faculty to retire, then simply not hiring new tenures to the position, instead opting for an adjunct scab to fill the gap at a quarter of the pay with no benefits or job security.

The system is simply broken: 300 or even 500-person schoolrooms teaching standardized crap that imparts no useful skills... students are graduating at record numbers with degrees in such useless fields as Interior Design, Popular Culture, and the great liberal-arts bastions, History and Social Sciences. What we have as a nation forgotten is that nobody NEEDED a degree for any of these things a hundred years ago--people learned their trades by doing them. For example, if you wanted to be a mason, you apprenticed yourself to a master mason and would work for him like a dog until you became a journeyman with some marketable skill; you would then have to work your way into the good graces of a masonry firm until you achieved enough skill to be a master in your own right, at which point you could hang out your own business shingle and get little apprentice-slaves for yourself and continue the cycle ad infinitum (another latin phrase you'll never need, but which always looks good to employers).

Business has not changed in its capitalistic structure for over 100 years, even though our elites have become too sensitive for hard labor and earnest trade. That's why immigrants are coming to this country and getting richer, faster than us. It's not because they have a desire to debase themselves; they simply don't find work to be debasing. I say let schools be for scholars, and let business be done by businessmen. Car repairmen need liberal-arts degrees like fish need bicycles! Perhaps, when education is no longer required by the government nor desired by the nagging majority, it will become fashionable again to learn on one's own, and be recognized by one's own skills and achievements instead of one's uncanny ability to bore whole parties to death with impromptu lectures on Proust.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Poetry Night: Echoes from the Past...

Behold, the crimes of 2009, writ before us in stately verse by the late Rev. Jonathan Swift:


The bold encroachers on the deep
Gain by degrees huge tracts of land,
Till Neptune, with one general sweep,
Turns all again to barren strand.

The multitude's capricious pranks
Are said to represent the seas,
Breaking the bankers and the banks,
Resume their own whene'er they please.

Money, the life-blood of the nation,
Corrupts and stagnates in the veins,
Unless a proper circulation
Its motion and its heat maintains.

Because 'tis lordly not to pay,
Quakers and aldermen in state,
Like peers, have levees every day
Of duns attending at their gate.

We want our money on the nail;
The banker's ruin'd if he pays:
They seem to act an ancient tale;
The birds are met to strip the jays.

"Riches," the wisest monarch sings,
"Make pinions for themselves to fly;"
They fly like bats on parchment wings,
And geese their silver plumes supply.

No money left for squandering heirs!
Bills turn the lenders into debtors:
The wish of Nero now is theirs,
"That they had never known their letters."

Conceive the works of midnight hags,
Tormenting fools behind their backs:
Thus bankers, o'er their bills and bags,
Sit squeezing images of wax.

Conceive the whole enchantment broke;
The witches left in open air,
With power no more than other folk,
Exposed with all their magic ware.

So powerful are a banker's bills,
Where creditors demand their due;
They break up counters, doors, and tills,
And leave the empty chests in view.

Thus when an earthquake lets in light
Upon the god of gold and hell,
Unable to endure the sight,
He hides within his darkest cell.

As when a conjurer takes a lease
From Satan for a term of years,
The tenant's in a dismal case,
Whene'er the bloody bond appears.

A baited banker thus desponds,
From his own hand foresees his fall,
They have his soul, who have his bonds;
'Tis like the writing on the wall.

How will the caitiff wretch be scared,
When first he finds himself awake
At the last trumpet, unprepared,
And all his grand account to make!

For in that universal call,
Few bankers will to heaven be mounters;
They'll cry, "Ye shops, upon us fall!
Conceal and cover us, ye counters!"

When other hands the scales shall hold,
And they, in men's and angels' sight
Produced with all their bills and gold,
"Weigh'd in the balance and found light!"


There you have it... fractional-reserve banking described to a T nearly three hundred years before our current crisis (1720).  THESE are the poems we ought to be drumming into our students--poems that invite us to learn more, not less.  Another favorite of mine is the condemnation of nationalistic patriotism by Wilfred Owen:


Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie:
Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori
.


We may not save lives through words or poetry, but at the very least, we ought to be able to save minds.  Jingoism, rapacious imperialism, and other blind desires to cause inhuman death and destruction have to be taught in order to be remembered; they have to be praised, promoted, and upheld as virtuous.  James Garner said it best when he said, "we wear our widows' weaves like nuns, Mrs. Barham, and perpetuate war by exalting its sacrifices."

"It's not war that's insane, it's the morality of it. It's not greed and ambition that makes wars; it's goodness. Wars are always fought for the best of reasons, for liberation or manifest destiny--always against tyranny and always in the interests of humanity. So far in this war we've managed to butcher some ten million humans in the interest of humanity. Next war it seems we'll have to destroy all of man just to preserve his damn dignity."

What use is there in being brave if you're dead?